Riding into the sunset...on a cramped train

THE silence and the piercing stares between strangers shooting daggers at one another were like a scene you’d see from any bad Western.

Only this wasn’t a Spaghetti Western, this was Wigan North Western, and the region’s cowboys and Indians had just one thing on their minds. A seat on the 14:28 service to Birmingham New Street.

I know the volcanic eruption in Iceland means that most air passengers are letting the train take the strain when the nation’s airspace gets closed, but it highlighted a nightmare problem with getting between many of Britain’s biggest cities. The trains just ain’t big enough!

You really need A Fistful of Dollars to get your seat perched anywhere on a Virgin or CrossCountry Voyager because - despite all the statistics showing that the number of rail users has gone up - the powers that be have replaced all the old rolling stock with SMALLER trains. On a busy rush hour service this isn’t just annoying.

It’s madness.

If I’d wanted to pay £38 to stand up for a little short of two hours surrounded by the sweaty bodies of people I’ve never met before, I would’ve paid to go and see any of the better bands from Manchester and have a few drinks while I’m at it. Breathing recirculated air from a vestibule somewhere south of Warrington does not a fun afternoon make.

Whisper it softly but part of the reason Virgin Trains was forced to give up its Cross Country services was because the trains simply aren’t big enough, and the new operator’s solution is to bring back the thirty year old Intercity trains, simply because they have more space. On the newer trains it doesn’t matter whether you’re
The Good, The Bad or The Ugly - you’ll still have to stand up.

I know it’ll cost millions of pounds to sort out, but we’re already paying a healthy ransom to travel by train.

I don’t care who won the election. I just want my seat back.